Thriving in Uncertainty

Most humans are not super comfortable with uncertainty and right now we are all swimming in a sea of it. From the direct health scare, to concern about loved ones, to the economic tsunami, to completely upended social norms and daily routines, we are in a period of massive and rapid change and nobody knows how it is all going to turn out.

This massive level of uncertainty can be very stressful. When my life blew to pieces five and a half years ago my stress levels were so high I could barely breathe. It was so visceral I felt hunted — at the very least chewing myself up from the inside out. Something in me knew that my survival depended upon figuring out how regain some calm, some inner peace even while my outer life was in terrible disarray and upheaval and so I embarked on an all out journey to figure it out.

I want to assure you it absolutely is possible to learn to disconnect your inner state of being from the events swirling through your life. It absolutely is possible to manage and even release fear. It is possible to learn to expand into, rather than contract from, uncertainty.

Here are a couple POWER TIPS:

  • Clean up your Mental Hygiene. If you do not have any form of a meditation practice start yesterday! Seriously, the fact that I had at least a bit of a morning meditation practice onboard is one of the things that literally saved my life five years ago. It can start with just a moment or two of stilling your racing, flailing mind.

Here is an excerpt from the chapter on fear management in my book, When Life Blows Up: A Guide to Peace, Power and Reinvention.

Learn the art of “Presencing”, of practicing being in the Present Moment

The simple fact is that unless we train ourselves differently, most of us spend the bulk of our lives focused on the past or the future, often in fear. If you’re reading this book you’re likely dealing with some difficult, even traumatic situation right now. There are probably a lot of unknowns, worry, angst. But ask yourself this, right now in this very moment, are you basically OK? Are you right now, under direct attack? In this very moment are you warm? Do you have shelter and food? Are you breathing? If you have time to read this sentence your answer is almost certainly yes!

To become present, look around you right now wherever you are. Notice the sights. Take a deep breath through your nose and notice the scents. Listen to the many sounds and the little silences between them. Feel the chair beneath you, supporting you. Focus on the breath gently moving in and out of your body. Feel the rhythm of your beating heart. Run your right hand gently across the top of your left. Notice. Breathe. Say aloud, “I Am here. I Am here. I Am here.”

Let your body release its tensions – loosen the jaw, drop shoulders. Underneath all the noises and sounds feel the deep stillness of the earth and sea. Breathe. Deeply. Look around and feel this moment in time. Release and relax.

 Developing a presencing practice takes exactly that — practice. The more times each and every day you bring your focus back to the present moment, even for just a second or two, the calmer and less stressed you will be. Not only will this help you navigate trauma more easily, it will add all sorts of additional beauty and richness to the good times. ……  

This very moment, this instant of now, is really the only thing we can control. The state of consciousness we choose in this moment sets the stage for what happens next. In the now we can choose the feeling we want to experience. That’s right — you do not have to be at the mercy of your emotions. You have a choice in how you feel and you can learn to wield this power with skill and consistency, even when facing extraordinary challenges. …. I talk more about meditation and the mind in later chapters.

 Choose your lens carefully. Right now a lot of us are facing big challenges and big changes beyond our control. We might not be in control of the events but we always have control of how we choose to view and respond to those events.   Reframing how we choose to view a challenging situation helps us reclaim some power and open up to possible solutions we might not see otherwise.

Here’s one more excerpt from my book that I find to be immensely helpful.

The Choose Again Exercise:

A Course in Miracles is a mind-bending spiritual approach to psychotherapy. One of the things I most appreciate about it is that it is both deeply, sometimes even disturbingly profound and at the same time very practical. One of the tremendously useful practical techniques it recommends is to “Choose Again.”   This is a simple practice that will profoundly change your life.

It goes like this…

Each time you find yourself fixated on fear of something beyond your control, or each time you find yourself obsessing about what someone did to you, or find yourself thinking negative thoughts about yourself, you simply notice it, say “choose again” and think about something else, almost anything else.

Some days I had to do that five hundred times when obsessing over a particularly consuming or uncomfortable repetitive thought and sometimes the only positive thing I could think to focus on was the birdsong outside, the big dog beside me on the couch, John’s latest sweet little note of love and encouragement. Anything positive. It was work and it took commitment but eventually it always did the trick. As my thinking shifted, my lens adjusted, and my life improved.

Angry at your criticizer? Choose again. Resentful of your spouse? Choose again. Terrified about the “what ifs?” Choose again.   Replaying the ugly scene over and again in your head? Choose again. This simple but profound tool helps put us in the drivers seat of our own mind and helps us become aware of thoughts that are causing unpleasant feelings.

Reframing works for really big catastrophic life events and also for everyday little things. ….   We may not be able to choose the events that roll through our lives but we have enormous power over how those events affect our lives.

These are unprecedented times and a lot of people are hurting and scrambling. I just want to leave you with this thought: though we don’t usually like change and uncertainty, the truth is every moment of life is uncertain and the only real certainty is change. We navigate change all the time, often without even thinking much about it. There is every reason to believe you can navigate this one in a more peaceful and empowered way.

I never could have seen coming that my book titled, When Life Blows Up would be published just weeks before all of our lives blew up with COVID-19. It has a lot of useful information for people in the midst of big life upheaval and so I’ve dropped the price down so that more folks can get it.  I so hope it brings some comfort and useful strategies for you to not only survive but thrive through these unprecedented times.

Love,

Cylvia

P.S.  To schedule a free Transition and Reinvention breakthrough coaching session click here.

You’re Invited to Your Own Power!

Are you wanting more from your life? Looking to hit the reset button after life took a hard turn you hadn’t seen coming? Do you want to start or grow a mission-driven business? Do you want to get unstuck, period?

Then I invite you to join me at my upcoming reinvention and empowerment workshop. This is not your typical self-help workshop. Most personal development stuff is about trying to improve yourself, get rid of aspects you don’t like, overcome shortcomings. The problem is, that’s a scarcity-based approach and it just reinforces the message that you’re not good enough! It’s exactly the opposite of what we need to achieve more peace, power and success in our lives.

I learned this the hard way. I know exactly what it’s like to have life as you know it blow to pieces and find yourself reinventing career, relationships and even your basic personal identity at a time you never thought you’d need to. Several years ago, my career and life had reached heights I hadn’t dreamed of and then it all blew apart in a spectacular, public, “fall from grace”. I lost my business and ninety-percent of people I’d called friends or colleagues and, faced with all the legal challenges, I had to file bankruptcy.

At first I was terrified that my life might be broken beyond repair. For once I couldn’t just force my way forward and so, out of pure survival, I decided to treat it as an unasked for sabbatical. For the first time I truly surrendered and faced myself from the inside out and through that epic journey I realized up to that point I’d never really known myself at all, I had never before met my authentic Self.

For four years, as the legal challenges dragged on, I followed a path of study, reflection, growth and reinvention. I got certified as a life coach, completed the first chunk of ministerial school, and received training from numerous beautiful wisdom teachers. I realized that my whole life I’d been seeking power and success from outside sources – the approval of others, the way my business looked, even from the political arena — but the refining fires of life blowing to shreds burned away the BS that had been blocking me from my True Self and genuine power.

I developed a program that not only helped me heal but transformed my life in beautiful ways I never could have foreseen. I am now, happier, more peaceful, more successful and making a bigger positive difference than ever before. I radically reshaped my business because I knew I had to harness the trauma I’d been through and share the empowerment tools, strategies and insights I’d learned so that I could help more people make a bigger positive impact for themselves and our world.

I am deeply committed to helping others rediscover their authentic Selves, reclaim personal power and create lives and businesses that help heal our world. My empowered reinvention workshops are one way I do that and I would love to see you in the next one coming up Feb. 2nd.

In this workshop you’ll learn tried and true strategies to uncover your innate ability to:

  • Transform fear into clarity and a sense of empowerment
  • Find peace no matter what’s swirling in the circumstances of life
  • Embrace the awesome creative power of change and uncertainty
  • Find forgiveness, even of self
  • Develop a sense of genuine self-worth and safety

And the biggest outcome is learning to remember your own divine magnificence and get out of your own bad-ass True Self way!  

The path to power isn’t about looking outside for answers and authorities, trying to “fix” yourself, fill up places you perceive as empty, or even “attract” desirable things. The power is in remembering who you really are.

Let’s do that together February 2nd! Let’s make 2019 the best year of your life so far!

For more info and to register go to www.cylviahayes.net (go to Store tab and you will see the link there)

Here’s what some people had to say about the last workshop.

“It was a wonderful day …. I loved being a participant … your cloud of magical learning and how profound your teachings are. In gratitude for your sharing of your authentic self. – Tam

Thank you for the wonderful experience. It was truly fantastic, and really beneficial to me.  I’m definitely at a crossroads in my life, and a lot of things are up in the air.  I’m in need of finding the path that’s right for me, and in the process, am definitely working through a lot. Our class was right in line with that, and helped me immensely … Again, I thank you for this. – Maggie

You Wow’d me … workshop was amazing!I learned why I have been so withdrawn and lacking motivation. I also learned to get free of limiting thoughts, quit being so hard on myself, and embrace my new beautiful life even more. I so appreciate your workshop. – LD Sullivan

Designing the life you want isn’t about becoming more or better, it’s about remembering who you really are to begin with.  Remembering your True Self enables you to master your emotions, step out of suffering and into the life you really want – no matter the circumstances you’re facing right this moment.

True power is not outside of you and you are already magnificent, powerful and completely capable.

Date: February 2, 10am to 3pm

Location:  Unity Community at One World Center, Bend Oregon 

Register at: www.cylviahayes.net (go to Store tab and you will see the link there)

Unplugging into the Now

One of the visitors to my campsite. Angels anyone?

I celebrated my birthday last week with our annual raft trip down the Wild and Scenic section of the Rogue River. Four solid days with no cell phone, emails, TV, radio or motors of any kind. Just flowing water, wild critters, dear friends, decent food, good beer and my journal.

There is no more calming, grounding therapy than getting unplugged from devices, and so-called news and plugging into Nature. Feeling the warm earth under my feet, rocking on the water surrounded by, immersed in, flow and cascading river song. At night, the brilliant display of truly dark skies pin holed by a billion bright cosmic lights.

There is a beautiful practice in A Course in Miracles known as the Holy Instant.

Loving my chaise lounge camping chair after a day of rowing rapids!

This is becoming fully present in the now, releasing any notion of past or future. In that space we remember who we really are, spiritual beings, at one with, an extension of, the Creator, Source. Touching that place, the Truth behind the illusions we regularly plug into, is one of this life’s most beautiful experiences.

I’ve stopped being surprised, but haven’t stopped being saddened, by how many of my clients, my fellow advocates, activists and social entrepreneurs, get so caught up working to protect the planet and change the world that they fail to get out there and actually experience it!

By the time I emerged from wilderness I was excited to reengage with business and life’s busyness, with texts and emails and errands. I’m happy to note that a little bigger piece of now is with me in the process.

So, friends, if you are feeling stressed, or sad, overwhelmed or worried, leave the devices behind and go get a hug from Mother Earth. She’s there for you whether deep in wilderness or at the corner park. Breathe her in. Listen. Remember you are an extension of God, ever supported by the spiritual substance from which you were created.

Unplug. Choose a different outlet. Plug into the present moment. Remember who you are.

One of my favorite campsites on the rogue River.

Namaste,

Cylvia

 

P.S. I just added A Course in Miracles coaching package to my store.

Also, this fall I’ll be offering a group Course in Miracles teleconference class. Please let me know if you might be interested in being part of it. I love sharing this life-changing set of teachings with friends and colleagues. I would love to share it with you.

#CylviaHayes  #Empowerment  #ResiliencyMuscles #ChangeMaker

Expect Miracles. Why Not?!

Are you facing uncertainty? Struggling with financial challenges? Are you mired down in situations that seem totally out of your control?

A while back I realized a situation I believed was beyond my control actually wasn’t. When I looked at it from a different angle I saw that I had options to step out of a “battlefield” I’d been attached to for several years. Doing so required a serious financial hit and uncertainty, but it felt right.

It took every tool I’d learned and skill I’d honed to stay above the financial fear and uncertainty. Each time I’d find my mind spinning off in fear I’d just say “Choose Again”, over and over and over. Then I’d pick three things I was grateful for and say “Thank You” out loud. With discipline I stayed open to the possibility that every last bit of it, even the stuff that felt wildly uncomfortable, was actually positive, was happening FOR me, not to me.

Well, guess what?! Sitting there in deep uncertainty I was offered the gift of a week on the island of Zakynthos Greece, everything paid for! WHAT?!!

I was invited to be part of the faculty in a program exploring how developing our consciousness effects the work we do to grow socially useful businesses and solve the big problems the world is facing. WHAT?!!!   This is exactly the aspect of my career that is currently hatching!

The event organizers had watched my recent TEDx talk and that, along with my long background in social enterprise, was what prompted the invitation.

It seemed a little crazy to go to Greece given what I was dealing with at home, but it felt right. Sort of like all expenses paid manna from heaven. So I took the leap and left even before all the travel arrangements were fully nailed down. I didn’t really know what to expect so I chose to expect miracles.

AND ….

  • On the long flight over the ocean I somehow got a seat with extra legroom and tray space, which I put to good use writing several breakthroughs I had on the book I’m working on
  • Taxi drivers chose not to charge me anything — given the language barrier I never did understand why
  • My talk touched hearts and minds
  • Another faculty member provided exactly the info and insight I needed for the next section of my book project
  • On the flight home I had an entire row with extra legroom, and free drinks all to myself!

So here’s my suggestion. If you don’t know what to expect, EXPECT MIRACLES! Why not? You can imagine the worst or you can stay open to the possibility that things are going to turn out better than you could even imagine. Why not?

The lens you put on the things that happen in your life shape your reality far more than the happenings themselves.

Expect miracles, see all the things you have to be grateful for, choose. You have more power than you know.

Cylvia

#CylviaHayes  #Empowerment