I had a rough couple of days. My work commitments felt overwhelming. Deadlines for some clients, other clients who weren’t paying on time and the ongoing media bullying laid me low. I walked out of the sunshine, figuratively and literally, into a self-created prison of fear and worry. I allowed myself to forget my own enoughness and wallow around a bit in frustration and victimhood.
This morning, though reluctant to face the day, I beat back the temptation to zone out on the couch with the shade drawn and walked back into the sunshine, physically and emotionally.
Out on my little deck, I breathed deeply, eyes closed, sunshine warming my face. The rich sweet of honeysuckle blossoms infused me. Soon I heard the high-pitched buzzing of tiny, fierce hummingbirds staking out their claims among the masses of fragrant flowered vines.
Next I reawakened to the free-flying, chattering sparrows, raucous jays and honeybees drinking from beads of dew on a deck chair. Despite myself I smiled. Realizing it was the first time I’d done so in a couple days made me smile again.
I breathed in the fragrant, rich life and pulled my head out of my …… gloominess and fear. A flood of gratitude flowed, thankfulness for all the goodness in my life. Even gratitude for the occasional self-imposed imprisonments because they help me remember the exquisite freedom in sunshine, birdsong and honeysuckle on the breeze.
And each time I get back up, dust myself off and move forward with gratitude I remember how to reclaim my power, knowing that I have the ability to choose my mood.
A reluctant morning turned beautiful day. Onward.
P.S. Yep those honeysuckles in the photo are the very ones who helped me pull my head out of the gloomy funk! I think I’ll give them a little grateful dose of fertilizer!
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